It has come to my attention, dear readers, that among you there may be some confusion regarding the identity of Chairman Mao. Fear not. The goal of Jackfruity has always been and will continue to be the eradication of misunderstanding and the betterment of the general population — hence my many treatises on eminent public figure Jay-Z.
Chairman Mao is many things, almost all of which can be divided into two categories: Zedong and Norbert.
Lest these categories seems indistinct, let me assist you with several examples of their differences:
- Zedong: loved to swim.
Norbert: honorary citizen of the state of Oklahoma
- Zedong: former assistant librarian
Norbert: former lawyer
- Zedong: Down with Soviet imperialism!
Norbert: The country needs a leader who is no warlord!