In which I agree with the LRA

It’s common knowledge by now that the Lord’s Resistance Army have pulled out of the Juba Peace Talks for what feels like the 8027th time, demanding that they be moved to Kenya or South Africa or God knows where, accusing Riek Machar and Sudan of being “Uganda’s allies.”

My gut reaction: more sabre-rattling? More political blustering? Haven’t we had enough? Suck it up and get your asses down to work, gentlemen.

But then I thought about it, and in approximately two seconds, I realized that I am an incredible idiot. It goes back to Deborah Scroggins.

Who had the balls foolish audacity to appoint a senior member of the Sudanese People’s Liberation Army as mediator of the peace talks between the LRA and the GoU? The basics of any “history-of-the-conflict-in-thirty-seconds” go like this: LRA = bad. Sudan supports LRA, which also = bad. SPLA fights Sudan, which therefore = good. SPLA = good, and LRA = bad, so GoU supports SPLA.

Again: who’s hairbrained idea was it for Machar to be the one mediating? There isn’t even the pretense of neutrality — regardless of whether or not this nutshell-sized-version of the last twenty years is accurate (and Debbie would most likely argue that it’s not), public perception is that this man owes at least some of his current power to Museveni’s administration.

Of all of the complaints the LRA has lodged since the beginning of the talks six months ago, this is actually legitimate. Which means that I find myself in a rather precarious position: I agree with the LRA. Debbie, love, what have you done to me?