Nicknames

For the past two weeks I’ve been besieged by what I can only assume is the plague, and in the process, I’ve lost my voice. It started out like this:

Over the weekend, my camping buddies decided I sounded more like Sarah Michelle Gellar:

On Tuesday I turned into Kathleen Turner:

Then during a conference call yesterday, I was called Suzanne Plachette:

But I think I sound more like this:

Other names in the running include Squeaky, Snuffles, The Snuff Creature, Schnupfi, Coughy McCougherson, and, after my pathetic attempts to communicate in hand gestures, “satanic mime” and “big flapping bird.” I have the best coworkers.