return from the undead

Hi, everyone. I’ve been dead had malaria.

I’m back now.

Huge thanks to Ivan, who announced the fourth Uganda Bloggers’ Happy Hour in my absence: April 26th, 6:30 PM, Mateo’s, downtown Kampala.

Josh told me I had to be exceptionally witty in this, my first post post-absence. At this point it still takes considerable effort to get out of bed, so I’m going to pull out the excuse I’ve been using on everyone, for everything, since I got sick two weeks ago:

Sorry, I can’t. I HAVE MALARIA.

I expect that to be good at least through the end of the month.

welcome to the fold

I got an e-mail today that I wanted to share with you all:

Hello there

I was searching for Aga Khan online and came across your website.

Forget Google Page Rank and Technorati — this is the true measure of blogebrity.

Let me introduce myself, my name is [redacted: I’m going to call him JoeBob] and I will be marrying an Ismaili woman come May 2007. I have courted her for over 7 years now.

JoeBob, I’m impressed. That right there is what we AgaKhanoholics call determination.

In that time, I have been witness (not personally, but heard) to many of the rituals that her family participate in their “jamat khana.”

I have had so many of my questions unanswered when I display a passing interest in the religion and Aga Khan in particular.

My questions mainly pertain to the money that is collected from all these “activities.” They have donation drives, and something called a partnership walk and many other “festivities” that I am undoubtedly unaware of.

The Ismailis get goosebumps whenever the Aga Khan’s name is mentioned.

So do I, my friend, so do I.

I just don’t get it. How can a “white” guy living in palaces in France be considered a Saviour of these predominantly Indian, Pakistani and African Ismaillis??

Islam forbids gambling on one hand and this Aga Khan has one of the worlds best collection of race horses. Isn’t that strange??

This and many other things, my inquisitive little darling.

Anyway, just wanted to thank you for your blog. I have bookmarked it and will read all your articles (specially ones on “Aggie” as you call him … funny as heck) with great interest.

Peace

You see, Internet?? This is what the “Aga Khan” does to “people” like me and JoeBob. We’re put in such a “state” of consternation that we start throwing punctuation around like it’s undoubtably “candy.” Why, Aggie, why?? When are you going to stop stroking your studs, move out of your French palaces and answer some of our many, many questions??

JoeBob, good luck with your upcoming marriage. If you ever want to guestblog about attempts to sneak into the jamat khana, let me know.

he’s not really, i promise

A while ago I took a boda-boda from work back to my house. The driver recognized me and asked about my friend:

Me: Oh, he’s back in the States.

Driver: What?

Me: He went back home. To the U.S.

Driver: What?

Me: He left. He’s gone. In America.

Driver: What?

Me: His time here is finished.

Driver: Oh, sorry. My sister, she is also finished. In May.

Me: Finished? No, no, not like that. He’s not dead. He just went back home.

Driver: [Nodding head and clucking his tongue sympathetically] Yes, yes. Dead.