Several weeks ago I was discussing my interest in Aga Khan with a friend of mine over a couple of rounds of waragi-and-tonic. This friend works for the Daily Monitor, the more independent of Uganda’s two main newspapers. He informed me, somewhat conspiratorially, that Aga Khan owns the paper.
I filed this piece of information away somewhere in the back of my brain with the waragi and let it sit there until yesterday, when I decided to see if it was true.
First resort: Google, the Omniscient God of Search Engines. I typed in “aga khan daily monitor” and was shocked/thrilled/somewhat disappointed to see that, aside from a couple of news articles about Aggie’s recent publicity stunts, the first result listed was none other than yours truly.
Hello, I’m Jackfruity, and I’m an Aga Khanoholic.
Even more determined to demystify the connection between Aggie and the Monitor, I did a little more research. It turns out the paper is part of the Nation Media Group, a conglomerate that owns a variety of newspapers, magazines and radio and television stations throughout East Africa. It was founded in 1960 by (surprise!) our friend, the Aga Khan Foundation for Economic Development, and His Highness the Aga Khan now owns 43% of the company’s share.
This knowledge forces a choice between Museveni’s biases and Aga Khan’s. There’s really only one way to make such a monumental decision. Allow me to present the Official Jackfruity Aga Khan/Museveni Comparison:
| Category | Museveni | Aga Khan | Winner |
| Headgear |  |
 |
tie |
| Parentage | cattle herder | Shia playboy | Aga Khan |
| Public endorsement | Joseph Kony | Kurmanbek Bakiev | Aga Khan (lesser of two evils) |
Aga Khan it is. Glad that’s settled.